The big, modern feminist dream has been to DO IT ALL. Be the best mother, wife, worker, friend, and more. Be everything to everybody!
It’s a recipe for disaster and burn out.
Have you tried it? How’s that working out for you?
Even just trying to be the best of 2 categories can wear you thin.
Be the best girlfriend and worker. Be kind, helpful, loving, sweet, and thoughtful. Always.
We are sold this “dream” as we strive for a level of unattainable perfection.
Then we kick ourselves for not being good enough.
We put conditions on how we should be.
I should call her back right away.
I should provide daily support to my other friend who is in crisis.
And if I don’t do it…
INSERT GUILT.
I’m not doing enough. (In other words, beat myself up mentally.)
NEWSFLASH: I cannot do it all. And keep my sanity.
I am no longer a priority as I please everyone else. As I feed into the idea that women have to be perfect nurturers, friends, lovers, employees, and more.
What happens if I drop society’s expectations?
I start listening to my desires, my emotions, my body. I become attuned to my soul.
How does that feel?
Like I’m not in a straightjacket anymore. Like I get to be me.
That I AM ENOUGH. Regardless of whether I have accomplished anything.
What about you? What’s your experience with trying to do it all?
Teresa says
I’m always caught up in this. I feel as though I never do enough and let my family down. I feel heavy inside, I keeping thinking when do I get to live for me
Rachel Boucher says
I can relate. Give yourself permission to take care of you. You are worth it!