There is a particular person in my life who irritates me on a regular basis. Let’s call him, Henry. Henry has a way of getting under my skin. It’s a gift he has. And I have learned that when someone annoys me like this it means I need to stand up for myself and be clear about my boundaries.
Now. Here’s the thing. I’ve been programmed to be nice.
Nice girls are polite and aren’t supposed to hurt anyone’s feelings.
Yuck!
Social programming is so limiting.
How do you stick up for yourself or for others if you are always trying to not bother anyone?
It’s exhausting. And it actually gets in the way of loving and honoring myself.
So here are 5 strategies for when someone is annoying and how to lovingly take care of yourself:
- Take slow, deep breaths.
- Ask yourself if this is something you can ignore.
- If I feel that I need to say something, how can I say it diplomatically? Or maybe I just need to say it however it comes out of my mouth.
- Do I need to make it clear what my boundaries are? If so, share.
- Where in my body do I feel this? Notice the feeling and acknowledge that it’s there. Sit with the sensation, without judgment. Breathe into that spot.
It makes a big difference to honor my feelings and not stuff them down or numb them. It’s better than being the poster girl for resistance and resentment.
#boundariesaresexy
How do you handle annoying people? How do you stand for yourself?
I, too, was trained to always be nice, which often translated into letting people be not-so-nice to me. But as I have evolved into my wisdom years (that’s what I call them!), I am more on my side than anyone else’s. I used to be afraid of making the other person mad if I spoke up, but if they are mistreating me, they were not my friend to begin with, and nothing is lost, only gained. What I gain is myself! After taking Martha’s course, I am very aware of the extreme importance of being true to myself. It is now a priority.
Oh, Diana, I couldn’t agree more! Makes me want to give you a big hug. Truly makes a difference to honor yourself on every level. 🙂
Thank you for the article Rachel. I am learning how to deal with boundaries myself. And it is not always easy, especially if it involves dealing with previous or present co-workers and an ex. What is the course you are mentioning Diana?
Boundaries are an ongoing learning experience. I’m not sure which course you are talking about as there is not one mentioned in this blog post, but I do have some ongoing ones mentioned here: https://www.rachelroseboucher.com/work/
Oh, I see what you are talking about now. Diana is mentioning the life coach course by Martha Beck.
Oh Okay!! Thank you for the information–also thank you for the intuition tips Rachel!!